Blogging While Afraid

I begin this blogging journey stricken. I fear writing. Afraid my truth, the way I see God and the world, won’t resonate. I panic to even look at the “publish” button. I am coward. I am running away. My 31 years on Earth echo my silence.

Petrified to be called a “hack,” “out-there,” or “super spiritual,” these labels pin me, paralyze me. Reverberating in my mind, they’ve hemmed me in for too long.

Today I grow steel vertebrae, and seeds of gumption and courage begin to root. I chase faith. Or does it chase me?

I laugh. God too is probably laughing at me, all lily-livered in front on my computer agonizing over which WordPress theme to choose. I suppose the words I write matter half as much as this seminal step into darkness, not knowing where this will all lead.

Yaweh’s taking me on a faith journey. Like an obedient toddler, I go where He leads me. Craven or bold, He’s never far away, so I will keep walking. As you read this, I’ve talked fear down and walked my way out of the boat to follow Jesus.

I listen, pray and stumble, but grace comes. Grace always comes. When I posture myself in front of this grace, faith supplants fear.

Now my faith rises like a nearly full moon. The orb seems whole, until you behold its splendor the next night—then you see it complete, fully glowing.

Today my faith begins to eclipse fear. I dare to write, to publish, to be scorned or adored. I risk failure and success.

Although the act of writing spells solitude, I know I’m not alone. I invite you to take this journey with me. Watch me hone my writing craft. Listen to my exegesis, no matter how profound or simplistic or flat out wrong I may be.

I will ask, ponder and think aloud. I will wonder and wander. I know the God of all wisdom, and I know He is able to lead me into all truth. This blog will seek truth and beauty in the One who is all-together lovely.

I pray you see Him on these pages and that His life—lived fully in me—calls out to you, in your deep places, thin places or barren places. May Grace abound to you as you let him carve your strengths out of the raw material of your weaknesses.

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