I saw him leaning against the wall near the door of Braum’s, oblivious to the world, entranced by the voice on the other end of the phone.
I stole a glance as I loaded my kids in the car. I smiled a “knowing smile” if there ever was one. He was just a boy, 17 maybe. I knew his look, that smitten smile.
He swam in her words, practically drowned. He was drenched in love, or was it infatuation? Still, it made me wonder. When was the last time my breathing slowed and my heart beat faster to hear someone’s voice?
As I drove home I pondered why reading the Bible has become so difficult for me lately.
I once read the Bible like a lover, hanging on every word, but now I read it like an archeologist, a theologian, a person with a to-do list. Why don’t I feel the passion I once did when I read those ancient words?
After all, isn’t this what Scripture is, God’s love letter to us? His love infused into the world, unfurled in a beautiful narrative of His grace, His redemption of mankind?
This reminds me of the letter to the church of Ephesus in Revelation. “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Rev. 2:4 NIV).
The church in Ephesus received praise for endurance and perseverance, but they lost some of the ardor they once prized above all else.
Likewise, our love for Christ can erode. Life smashes in our hopes or unanswered prayer diminishes our love. It’s not that we’ve left Jesus. We’re still faithful, but the enthusiastic love we once offered Christ can slacken.
We see this happen in marriage, too, don’t we? Romance changes. It matures. If bitterness and resentment slip in and remain unresolved, love can unravel all together.
Teenage love remains powerful because it’s not jaded. It’s simple, pure devotion and oh so naive. We know better as adults.
No, I don’t believe we should always feel God’s love like a whirlwind sweeping us away. Life doesn’t work like that. It can smash us in and skin our knees.
What I’m talking about is losing love for God in the quietness of complacency, losing trust that He wants to pick us up, soothe us and bandage our bloody knees.
We must return to our first love because His love for us never fails and stands infinitely taller than our love for Him ever will.
If the famous verse from Song of Solomon, “He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love” (2:4 NASB), were written in modern English it might sound more like this:
He doesn’t stop tweeting night and day about His love for me. My picture floods his FaceBook timeline. He can’t wait to introduce me to all of his friends and family.
Whether it’s difficult or easy to believe, know it’s true. He’s crazy about you.
“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand– when I awake, I am still with you” (Psalm 119: 17-18 NIV).
I love this. I REALLY needed to hear that I’m not the only one who is having difficulty reading God’s love letter to us lately. I’m ashamed to say I read Bible plans, but I don’t linger in His Word like I feel I should.
The Song of Solomon verse made me think of this song: Strengthen Me With Raisins by Jordan Klassen. Maybe you’d like it. 🙂
I can relate. Oh how I can relate. I just stopped my reading plan this week. Gasp! Those check off boxes can trick me into believing I’ve met with God and heard His heart!
I don’t know the song but I will look for it. Thanks Julie. Love your heart.
Is it horrible I have 3 plans, plus 3 devotionals I read throughout the day, to make sure I’m in His Word? I feel like I didn’t meet with Him enough if I don’t do every single one.
Let me know how you like it 🙂
I was going to tell you about my reading plans and checklists… about how I come to depend on the list rather than genuinely meeting God. But I see you already said it. So I’ll just add, “Me tooooo!”
I know! It’s so easy to read the Bible but God wants the Bible to read us!
So very very true! We need to meditate on this daily! Thank you for the awesome reading to remind me! My soul is uplifted and feeling a thrill of joy and peace !
God’ love comes sometimes in that whirlwind and sometimes quiet peace. But it’s always overwhelming and he’s constantly letting us know how much he loves us. Thanks for the reminder, Trisha.
very well written. i love how He loves us. and there are those times we wander away like a child enraptured with the next aisle over in the toy store. in those moments he finds us we stand dumbfounded that anything was wrong, but His embrace reminds us in His presence is where we find comfort, joy, and security. thanks for putting into words what i have problems putting into words. 🙂
Reblogged this on Supernatural Passion and commented:
So very true and convicting. We need to keep the fire burning for Jesus!
Thanks sis!
This reminds me of “where the red furn grows” the boy wanted his hunting dogs so bad and he prayed to god in order to get them. He prayed and prayed and prayed. As time went on he grew frustrated. He then proceeded to ask his grandfather why hasn’t God granted him with his hunting dogs? The grandfather simply said, “son you have to meet him halfway.”
The more we seek him the more his love will be laid upon us! I know this for a fact because in my life I have seen it time and time again. Thanks Trisha!
Interesting post, thanks for reminding me to read my bible more, as lately I too read it like a chore.
Reblogged this on The Postmodern Mystic.
Thanks Little Monk!
I am greatly blessed by using the SOAP system of Bible reading, in which I first write out a Scripture from what I’ve been reading, then make an Observation of what I feel God is saying in it, then an Application to my own life of that truth, closed by a Prayer in response to what God has shown me. I find that I can feel completely dead when I start, and yet be fully quickened by the time I’m through. God is faithful!
Thanks for sharing. You are the third person who’s mentioned SOAP system to me, and we’ve even taught the method to our youth group. However, I do not use it, but maybe I will start.
Thank you for reading my blog and my God bless you indeed as you continue to see Him in Scripture.
LOVE this post. Love the fact that God never falters in His love for me (us) and that when I’m angry with him or even just bored with life and missing His majesty, He shows up for me, over and over, never petty, never harsh.
And now I’m craving Braum’s, too. Grew up near one, but we don’t have those where I live now.