I don’t get jealous often.

Ok, if you tell me you got a book contract, I’ll probably jealous for a few minutes.  Then I’ll get over myself.

I’ve learned to find happiness in other people’s joy, not grow green with envy.

I can’t think of a darker emotion than envy; it stings in our deepest parts. Knowing I serve a good Father that loves me as much as he loves you, makes all the difference.

In celebrating your wins, I’m able to celebrate a loving God who loves to bless His children.

Your blessings don’t threaten mine. God has enough goodness to go around!

Growing up with a sister gave me lots of practice combatting jealousy. For years I thought my lack of jealousy signaled spiritual maturity, but I was blind to jealousy’s counterpoint growing in my heart.

As I walked one morning, God lovingly began revealing my sin of superiority. It caught me by surprise!

Through my earbuds, Andy Stanley described superiority and jealousy as two sides of the same coin. Both are caused by a poor understanding of God’s love.

Imagine a ladder with one person standing on the ground and another standing on the ladder. Jealousy looks up at the person on the ladder, wishing they had what someone else has. Superiority gazes down, glad to stand a couple rungs higher.

Since childhood, I’ve battled with feelings of inferiority. Gently, God pointed out how I combatted those lies by looking for ways I excelled.

I guess I didn’t really feel good about myself unless I could feel better than someone else. Mind you, this all occurred subconsciously.

Growing up in legalistic Christianity only further taught me to compare and measure myself against others. And subtle habits of the mind can be difficult to break.

Exposure is the first step, and God’s grace always abounds to us, regardless of the sin habit.

If you know anyone who acts haughty, please know that they’re probably covering up for a deep-rooted insecurity. Give them love and grace.

Jesus continues to heal me. He constantly reminds me of my worth in Him and keeps pointing out how I’m no better or worse than anyone else.

That’s what I love about the gospel. It levels the playing field, leaving zero room for superiority.

The disease of original sin struck us all and left us exactly the same—needy sinners incapable of self-help.

Just as I couldn’t even see my sin of superiority, I can’t heal without His help either.

I read this beautiful verse this morning that shatters my idealistic plans of self-help. “No one will succeed by strength alone,” (1 Sam. 2:9 NLT).

We can trust God to heal and forgive us. Only He holds the keys to heart change. Don’t you just love how He deals with us in gentleness and kindness?

Have you ever been blinded to a sin, only to be totally surprised when the Lord pointed it out?

I walked nervously to her front door. Years had passed.

The last time I saw Valerie her son was reading mid-grade fiction. Now he’s learning to fly airplanes.

Where did the time go? Different seasons led our families in different directions.

Friendships can lurch to a sudden stop, but so often friendships slowly drift apart.

When we reconnected with Valerie over dinner, conversation picked up almost where it left off, and so did the laughter.

It got me thinking about the kinds of friends we carry with us through life. The ones we don’t let go of–the ones who won’t let go of us.

Following Jesus means sticking by our friends throughout the roller-coaster ride of parenting. It means supporting each other in every season of marriage.

As our lives speed up, let’s not let the quality of our friendships diminish. Let’s not let our consumerist culture seep into the fabric of our friendship.

Real community isn’t plastic, and relationships are never disposable.

I grew up before “globalization” became a buzzword, when dial-up was still a thing. Friendship required real, face-to-face interaction, and unfriending someone required more than a keystroke.

When disagreeing we tread lightly because we knew the same people would be on our lives in a year or decade later.

1. Enduring friendships give each other the benefit of the doubt.

In the last 20 years the friendship landscape has drastically changed. We are slow to ask questions, quick to judge, and we hand out advice in lightning speed.

A quick glance of Facebook proves just how arrogant and condescending our culture has grown. We’ve forgotten how to mind our manners and play nice.

We’ve forgotten the essential ingredients of enduring friendship–tolerance and respect. When did we become so impassioned by our own opinions that we discount everyone else’s?

I’m just susceptible to the chip on my shoulder as the next. I hate to admit that I’ve caught myself feeling superior to friends and neighbors in the way I parent or teach my kids.

2. Enduring friendships require humility. Let’s face it, no one wants to be friends with a self-righteous know-it-all.

I know this one from experience. Thankfully, I had friends that forgave me. That’s what lasting friendships take, isn’t it?

3. Lasting friendship requires forgiveness.

Recently I’ve heard my friends bemoan our “multi-level marketing culture,” the  kind of transactional friendship that makes us all cringe.

Folks, let’s stop being like this. Let’s stop giving to get. That’s creepy. Instead seek to give, build up, and encourage. 

Enduring friendships weather life’s seasons with grace and acceptance. Time slips away, but let’s not let our friends.

Be the friend that reaches out. Host a dinner party and catch up with old friends that have drifted. Bridge the gap time creates.

I’m so glad my friend Valerie reached out to me. The day I stepped onto her front porch with a salad in hand, conversation and friendship resumed as if it had never stopped.

And for her son who has grown taller than me. I’ll cheer for him when he makes it into the Air Force Academy. Hopefully I’ll be there to hug his parents that he gets married.

Ultimately that’s what lifelong friendship is all about, marking the major events.

4. Lifelong friendship bears witness to life’s milestones. It acknowledges life’s big and small accomplishments. It’s a hundred tiny gestures compounded over time.

Don’t underestimate the small gesture of friendship. It’s in these small acts of love that a greater love story unfolds, a story grace, love, and acceptance.

Lasting friendships echo a greater love. They reveal to us the One who is Love.

“A friend loves at all times,” Proverbs 17:17.

**I’d love to hear from YOU! Do you have lifelong friends> What are some of secrets of lasting friendship that you’ve experienced?