I feel the space heater warm my nose while I tug the blanket ever closer. Today, cold air is the price I pay for half an hour of stillness.
I sneak away to the part of our house where the thermostat reads 60. I lay open my Bible along with my anxious mind and discouraged mama heart.
It’s worth the frigid toes—this rendezvous with Jesus.
And always in these moments I ask myself why I don’t purpose this quiet more.
Most days Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know I am God,” feels like an accusation. I want to be still and know. So I work harder to create rest time, but rest never comes.
But always when I work from a posture of rest, I’m amazed at what I accomplish.
There’s a type of prayer we yell in frustration. And another we whisper to ourselves, but the best prayer of all is the prayer when we stop to listen.
This God of ours longs to speak life to us. He pines to abide in us—to spill his life out of us.
It’s easiest to listen in the stillness, and I seem to only find these tranquil places out of desperation.
When my heart breaks, I come. When fears ransack, I seek out this solitude. “Here I am,” I whisper Isaiah’s ancient words. “Send me.”
So much of my time I spend searching for my calling “out there somewhere” I can never seem to reach. All the while taking for granted this greater calling that’s much closer to home.
Stillness helps me embrace motherhood, to rest into this calling of diapers and dishes. The practice of quiet grounds me with God’s purposes for me in the present.
Waiting on God helps give birth to the fruit of the Spirit in me. Show me a home that can function without love, joy and peace?
I’m learning to rest in this calling of motherhood. I’m learning to look past the work and the exhaustion of a job that never ends, because in the serving I catch a glimpse of the kingdom of God.
You know the one that appears sideways to us turned-around sinners? The one where the humble are exalted and the foolish teach the wise.
In the bowing low of motherhood I see how we’re most alive when we’re dead to self. I see how the real work is not in the doing, but in the quietness of believing.
Do you remember what Jesus told the over-zealous disciples who were eager to find out how to do the “greater works?”
“Jesus told them, ‘This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent’” (John 6:29 NLT).
Stillness can give birth to a beautiful belief.
And when we purpose to listen somehow we carry the stillness with us back into our chaos.
